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Friday, October 30, 2009

Online Dating - Remember You Are Allowed To Have Fun

By Jayde Johanssen

There is so much information about dating and internet dating out there. Everyone is an expert. Have you noticed though most of the advice is all doom and gloom. How to avoid this disaster, how to recognise that scam. It can't be that hard, all you are doing after all is trying to meet someone.

So I am taking a different approach with this article. Instead of making it confusing, difficult or scary, I am hopefully going to remind you that dating should be simple and fun. That's it. So here are my top three tips for fun dating.

Tip 1. Make a plan. You need to understand two things before you can make your plan. You need to understand the kind of person you are looking for. You also need to be aware of the type of experience you are looking for with that person.

You will get a lot of advice from people when you start to go down this route. IGNORE them. They have all kinds of different and irrelevant motivations for giving you their advice. You are the only one who knows what is right for you right now though.

Be true to your own needs and desires and you will find happiness. That is what happiness is after all. Recognise that there will be hiccups along the way, so if a date or relationship doesn't work, don't see them as mistakes, see them as part of the journey. The failed relationships actually allow you, through comparison, to enjoy the successful ones so much more.

Tip 2. Having noted the type of person and experience you want, only go to dating sites which cater for those specifics. Ignore the general dating sites that attract every man and his dog, only join niche ones which attract the people you are looking for. That is, use the dating site itself to qualify your potential dates.

You don't have to go to a general dating site where it is much more hit and miss. Some examples of specific dating sites include: Adult Dating Sites for an open and steamy experience; Asian Dating Sites if you are attracted to eastern culture; Christian Dating Sites if christian values are important in your partner; Gay and Lesbian Dating Sites if you are looking for a same sex partner; Jewish Dating Sites if jewish values are important in your partner; Seniors Dating Sites if you are looking for a mature partner; Dating Sites for the Tall, for when size matters; Dating Wealthy Partners for a more sophisticated experience

My third and final tip is to always keep it safe. You'll never have a fun time if you're not feeling safe. So apply common sense and your own set of safety precautions to all real life dating experiences.

Never escalate with someone that you are not yet comfortable with or don't feel safe with. This means don't give your email address or phone number to someone who hasn't won your confidence on the dating site. Following that, don't meet someone who has not made you feel comfortable when communicating by email or phone. Finally, never meet someone privately when they did not make you feel safe in the public meeting. This all sounds like common sense, but it is always harder when you are in the middle of it and getting pressured by the person on the other end, so be strong.

After that first meeting you are no longer internet dating, so your experience should progress along the same lines as any developing relationship.

I hope that helps. Keep it simple, have fun and by following your instincts, have a safe dating experience to success.

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